Editorial Note: These are some reflections on life with my dad and on the end of my dad’s life. My dad’s obituary gives a tidy tour of his life to put some of these reflections in context. 

****

Some of you don’t have many photos with your dad because he was always taking the pictures. In my case, my dad just didn’t like his picture taken and he was stubborn about it. That’s one thing about him I’ll strangely miss. He loved anchovies on his pizza. That’s another thing. Then there are a thousand ways we were alike. I like a tall glass of milk after mowing the lawn. Kristi says my body just wants the water in the milk. I don’t care. I love it. Like my dad did. Mustard on eggs. Humming. Grunting (sorry!). That’s all dad.

The Honey Badger of Men

There are many ways in which my dad might have died. He landed in the hospital in college with a case of pleurisy from a combination of working, studying, and partying without things like sleep. Hearing this would not surprise anyone who has known my dad at any stage of his life. There were the threats to his life when he had to terminate employees for theft. Dad was a master at finding them and terminating them, one explanation for his incredible control of shrink in his stores. Dad worked most of his life in retail management. 28 years for Woolworth then 15 for Family Dollar in St. Louis. This included nine moves in eleven years and then two more after that. Dad had an encyclopedic mind and probably a photographic memory that helped him make good judgments in people and for people. The word “legend” keeps coming up as I speak with his old friends and colleagues. He was great with numbers, but better with people. “The best boss I ever had” and “one of my best friends” are recurring themes.

There’s another way he should have died. I reached out recently to many of dad’s old buddies. I keep getting stories back about how dad would play and replay the same song on a juke box more than a dozen times. In one instance a man came over and said “is that your bike out there? If you play that song one more time you don’t want to know what I’ll do to you.” So dad played the song one more time. The man walked over. Dad stared him down, waved his hand to the bar, and called, “Waitress, waitress.” She came over. “Call the cops” That threw the man off. “What are you doing!?!” “I’m calling the cops so I don’t have to kill you.” I think in his own mind my dad lived as Dirty Harry. Quiet, in control, and unstoppable. He made the right judgment about this man and called his bluff.

Sometimes you don’t die but you feel like you’re dying inside.

The picture above is my favorite from the early years. We’re all together. And by “all” I mean, us, incuding dad and Tyler. My older brother, Tyler, was born with severe heart and brain defects. Tyler had a handful of surgeries in his first year and a half of life to address both, with good success. But in the process of brain surgery at a little over a year old Tyler got MRSA in the brain. Meningitis led to severe and permanent brain damage. I grew up with Tyler in the home and then at a nursing home as he entered his teenage years. For Drew and me, Tyler was Tyler. But for mom and dad, Tyler’s story and suffering was their own. But they made it through and so did their marriage.

They also made it through the loss of dad’s company, Woolworth. Another kind of death. Just as dad landed the job of his dreams, in the late nineties, dad was charged with letting go of managers and colleagues. Mom says he had nightmares for years of the faces of these people he loved as they heard the news that they lost their job. At the end of that road dad lost his. He never fully recovered from that loss. He was of a generation that was less transactional in its commitment to the companies they worked for. He and his buddies didn’t work “for” Woolworth. They built Woolworth. They were Woolworth. Woolworth took great care of our family. But it didn’t last. Dad worked for fifteen more years, then for Family Dollar. From all the notes I’m receiving, it’s clear he attacked that job with a great deal of energy and even more care for the success of the managers he built into. 

Hearing loss involves many small deaths. A long day of skeet shooting without hearing protection led eventually to a life of isolation from friends and—in ways that became sadly normal—from family as well. Phone calls were difficult, so long distances relationships faded. Being in social settings with more than two people was difficult, so he wasn’t much with us at larger family gatherings. And for obvious reasons, making new friends didn’t come easy. He was something of a recluse in his later years.

But his hearing didn’t close him off where it counted most. He didn’t have his old friends or broader family around. But he had Janell. And he loved Janell!

Janell was my dad’s life. Marriage is a one-flesh union, after all.

It wasn’t always easy to tell. He was not an affectionate person, at least in the typical fashion. Dad often channeled his inner Ralph from The Honeymooners. It was quite a sight and mostly an act, though not always. But if mom left the room, especially these last few months, dad talked about her:

Dad to me: “I’ve got a hell of a wife, don’t I? Snatched her up from all kinds of guys who wanted her. What woman would have moved all over the country trying to live like we did?”

Dad to my brother, Drew: “You probably already know this, but you have the best mom in the world. They don’t come like her.”

They were married 53 years. Death brings the end of a marriage too. I’ll miss their marriage as much as I’ll miss my dad.

Admiration and Ache

I admire my father. I hope you sense that. But I have also ached to know my dad better and for my dad to know the Lord. Not an uncommon longing, at least that first part. Regarding the second part, without knowing much about him other than his name, you have prayed for my dad to know Jesus.

Take heart: I believe the Lord was kind to answer both of my prayers and yours in these past months.

Mid-way through my sabbatical this summer I got the news: my dad’s body was full of cancer.

As you may know, I’ve been darting back and forth from Greenville to St. Louis to be with dad and mom. Dad was undergoing chemo. We had some nice talks on the back deck. He shared some stories from his life with me and a few kind words. We thought we might have months and maybe over a year. But then dad fell in the night and broke his hip. He was stuck in a door holding himself up for hours until mom found him. He swore he’d never ride in an ambulance, but he conceded. Dad wouldn’t return home for two weeks, then only for two days on hospice until he died. Much sooner than we expected. Those weeks in the hospital were difficult and undignifying.

One of you prayed often that the Lord would send Christians to my dad. He did that. One kind nurse prayed for my dad as he struggled, “Lord, help John.” A pastor from my home church here stopped by twice. Dad was sleeping, but he left a note each time. “Keith is a good man,” dad said. He always liked a man that did his job well. Keith has been at that church around the corner for over thirty years—a testament to longevity. Dad’s last doctor was a believer.

It was the Lord’s mercy that we could all be together at home with dad (on hospice) and holding him when he died. Circumstances could have been quite different (at a hospital alone, one of us across the country or else in town running an errand, or dad unconscious). Dad seemed aware that he was about to die. He was clearly fading. Yet it seemed clear he knew we were there. All very subtle and strained—he cried a few tears, something I had never seen dad do. He called out to Janell. She got to his side with me, along with my brother. Then, moments later, after brief intermittent breathing, dad breathed his last. I haven’t been up close in this way to a loved one. It was at the same time dreadful and precious, a horror and an honor to be there with him. It is not a place I ever wanted to be yet there was no place I would rather have been. We consider those moments a gift from God. We buried dad in Michigan this past Saturday alongside my brother, Tyler.

An older friend recently wrote me, “Grief never dissipates. It accumulates. With each death of a loved one, grief over the deaths of loved ones from years earlier makes another visit.” That sounds right to me, even good. I don’t want to forget my father such that I can’t feel his loss.

The Lord’s Mercy

It was the Lord’s mercy, as well, that dad had an early warning concerning death. That is a bitter gift, but a gift, nonetheless. He had a few other bitter warnings. Dad’s brother died in February and one of his sisters died in July.

I have written and spoken to my father for years about the Lord. In a way that fits my dad’s personality, he seemed to show that the seed of the Word had taken.

Remember that guy at the bar with a stone face who called the waitress over? That’s not the guy mom was talking about in this short exchange a month or two back:

“I bought a walker for dad”
“Oh dad won’t like that.”
“Well actually, he was glad for it. He is in the mode of knowing he needs help.”

In the last months of dad’s life, several of us had an encounter with dad in which he started off into a little reflection on the eternality of God. “What I don’t understand is how there could be a being that had no beginning. I understand something that has a beginning. But no beginning?”

He wasn’t fighting the thought. He wasn’t mocking the religious. He had at times. In this case, he assumed it was true that God was from forever and for forever, the ground of all existence. And in his own way he was seeing himself in perspective. Smaller and smaller. Created, not the boss of himself or the world. I got this little speech spontaneously while watching some show with dad, probably The Greatest Catch or Blue Bloods. I brought the topic up on another visit and he started into the speech again. Drew got it while sitting on the deck with dad. Drew asked, “what do you think about when you’re out here at night?” “I look through that hole in the trees at that star.” Then he started talking again about God.

Perhaps the Lord was bringing my father low for a purpose:

For thus says the One who is high and lifted up,
        who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy:
“I dwell in the high and holy place,
        and also with him who is of a contrite and lowly spirit,
to revive the spirit of the lowly,
        and to revive the heart of the contrite. —Isaiah 57:15

Multiple times this past year, mom reports that dad told her that he prayed every day. That he thanked God for her, prayed about Tyler, and prayed for the forgiveness of his sins. It’s one thing to speak of forgiveness for sins in the abstract. It’s another thing to speak this way to the spouse against whom many of your sins were committed. 

In this, dad acknowledged several truths: that he was in fact a sinner, that his sins were ultimately against God, that we need forgiveness from God, and that God stands ready to forgive.

That report from mom matches a heart that has considered the things he has heard about Jesus many times. Not the man who said once to me, “God could never forgive me. You don’t know what I have done.” Dad would not have had a developed Christology or soteriology. But maybe my dad understood God’s readiness to forgive our sins because of what he heard about how God sent his only Son that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. 

Larry, my former pastor here in St. Louis, encouraged me: “His tender heart toward the Lord as you described it is a great sign of working from God when I consider how little faith the thief on the cross expressed to Jesus on the day of his death, I realize that Jesus can save the one who calls upon his name. I have rarely seen someone confessing their sins as your father apparently did in his last hours who was not a believer in Christ. Those are not normally the acts of someone who is lost. He is in the hands of merciful God.” I might have encouraged you similarly at different times. But even pastors need pastors to shine some light into the dark for them. If he’s right, that would explain why my dad sweetened toward my mom this past year, showed forebearance with a difficult person, and said he hopes a nurse forgives him after he spoke too much of his mind recently. 

The Lord is merciful, and he knows. We trust him.

There and Back Again

It is difficult to imagine Drew and me caring for and leading our churches as we do apart from dad’s fathering. He cheered on our pursuit of ministry, though I’m sure he didn’t see it coming. But dad saw something coming. He was determined that Drew and I would be reliable, resiliant, and ready to lead. 

He introduced me to a nurse two weeks ago this way: “That’s my son. He’s a black belt. He got off the bus one day and got beat up. I asked if he fought back. He said no. The next day we put him in karate.” Dad was proud of decisions like that. He made many of them for our good—usually swift, often consequential. Your preacher is the sum of many impressions and the Lord’s grace. But much of that grace was through my father. I knew it already, but he confirmied it on meeting Kristi: “Kristi is a good girl. I can see it in her eyes. You should marry her.” He was a good judge of character. These are the kinds of memories we’ve been sitting on these last days in thankfulness for dad.

We’ve also been giving thanks to God for you.  

Thank you for praying for dad, some of you for many years. Based on your reports, my dad’s soul was under spiritual seige. I wrote to encourage you with your part in my dad’s story. But I also wanted you to know something of my dad. Thanks for reading.

I’m in St. Louis now riding out the grief with my mother. Mom is still saying, “We’re selling the car,” or “our house.” She hesitates for a moment after doing so, I can tell. The pronouns will adjust with time. I keep wanting to text dad something. As we get used to dad no longer being here, I have been pondering this thought: I no longer have a dad. I had a dad.

We’re both getting used to new sounds in a quieter house. And we’re both figuring out our way forward with our main character gone from the scene. A partner for mom. A dad for us boys. A grandpa for my kids.

Drew and I are both pastors, five hours and eleven hour drives away respectively. We’re tag-teaming taking care of mom. We have months ahead of us to help her in the way we should. I’ll be back in the pulpit soon and preaching most of that time, as usual. But I might be more touch-and-go than you’re used to.

I’m sure this little account brings up some hard memories for you, or even some memories you wish you had. And perhaps some sweet memories as well.

That’s part of why I wrote. For me, for you, and for us. I’ve walked with many of you though grief. More than that, you’ve walked with one another through grief. Thanks for walking patiently with me through mine.

On behalf of our elders, I am thrilled to introduce you to Sarah Asire, our new Director of Women’s Ministry. For a little over five years, Liz Stratton served in this role. When we sent Abe Stratton out to preach an hour away, of course, his family went with him. What a gift the Strattons have been.

But the Lord always has more gifts for his church, and Sarah is one of them. Our Women’s Ministry is thoughtfully designed, lovingly led, and centered on the Word. It’s also a strategic way in which our elders are shepherding our women—and by extension our families, our children, and our church—in the Scriptures.

The Women’s Ministry Director role is a member of our staff team. Whenever a role opens up like this, our elders ask a number of questions. Importantly, what does this minsitry need from a leader? In this ministry, we need a woman who can protect the vision, a woman who is excited about shared leadership, a woman with tested administrative chops, and importantly a woman of the Word. Also, while this role is mostly behind-the-scenes and supportive of other leaders, this woman must be able to speak for and to women and to our church as appropriate. Sarah is wonderfully suited for this assignment.

If you don’t know her already, we want you to know Sarah. If you already know Sarah, no doubt you’ll want to know her better.

With no further ado, Sarah, her story, and the how and why of women’s ministry at Heritage.

****

Sarah, thank you for taking some time to introduce yourself. Let’s start with your family and family life. Introduce us to your people and what each of you are up to these days. 

I really appreciate this opportunity for the church family to know more about me and my family. Chad and I have been married for 19 years and we have been blessed with three wonderful children. Haddon is our 15-year-old son who enjoys playing JV baseball for the Greenville Hurricanes. He loves aviation and would like to be a pilot in the Air Force someday. Kaelyn is 13 and loves spending time with her friends and is a great babysitter. Our youngest is Addison, who is 9 and full of drama that keeps us all laughing. Since moving to Greenville, Chad has been working in construction. Most of my time is spent homeschooling our three kids and I also occasionally work as an RN in Urgent Care.

Tell us how you got here. How did you come to faith in Christ and how did you come to Heritage in Greenville?

I had the blessing of growing up in a Christian home. I was the 3rd of 4 girls in my family. My parents valued God and the church, and we were there whenever the doors were open. As a child I strived to please my parents and teachers, often struggling with a proud motivation of looking like a “good Christian girl” mainly to please those around me.

When I was 12 years old I attended a youth event where I remember being extremely convicted when the preacher spoke on taking ownership of your walk with the Lord and that we are not Christians because of the faith of our parents. I was convicted about my prideful heart and saw myself as God sees me—a sinner, deserving punishment. Only Christ’s perfect sacrifice could provide the payment for my sin. I asked God for forgiveness in Jesus’ name and I was baptized shortly thereafter.

I attended Bob Jones University from 1998-2002 and God continued to work in my heart and life as I continued to battle a prideful motivation of pleasing others over God. God brought me to the realization that he cares more about my heart than about the appearance of external obedience.

I met Chad after graduation and we were married in 2004. We lived in Atlanta, Georgia until 2006 when we moved to Portland, Oregon to help in a small suburban church. This was such an amazing time of growth for us in our individual lives and in our marriage. Being so far from all of our friends and family deepened our dependance on God, one another, and our church family.

In 2020, God began impressing upon our hearts that we needed to make a change in our children’s education. Our kids had been in public school up until this point and when they began learning virtually we had a window into their classrooms and it was deeply concerning to us. Also, my father passed away during this time and left my mother and elderly grandmother as they were in the process of moving from Atlanta to the Greenville area. Through much prayer and discussion, we decided to move back east to be closer to family and allow me to homeschool our children.

We were already familiar with Heritage because Chad had attended while he was in college and we had tracked with the church during the six months prior to our move. When we moved to Greenville in July 2021 we arrived on a Saturday and the very next day attended Heritage for Sunday morning worship. We were so confident that this was the right place for our family to grow in the Lord and serve him that we never went anywhere else.

You have some background in church ministry and in ministry to women specifically, including your time at Heritage. Tell us that story.

I have always loved being a part of women’s ministry. I value the opportunity to gather around the Word as women and grow in our love for God and in our love for one another.

In 2018, my husband Chad encouraged me to take a leadership role as part of the women’s ministry team in the church he was pastoring. This was a very stretching and challenging time for me. One of the greatest things that God revealed was that I needed to grow in my understanding of the Word and the great privilege of assisting women in this as well. I wanted to help the women I was serving to go beyond a superficial reading of the Bible, and believe with the Lord’s help, they could be great students of the Word. We hosted a Bible Study workshop for the women based on Jen Wilkin’s book, Women of the Word, to provide practical tools for women who had never been taught to study God’s Word. We also transitioned to using some better resources in order to go deeper into the Word. Just prior to moving, I had gifted the two other ladies on our women’s ministry team with the book, Word-Filled Women’s Ministry, by Gloria Furman & Kathleen Nielson with a prayer that God would continue to grow the ladies in this important task. I also felt the need to continue to grow in my exposition of the Word.

I remember as we were driving through California on our cross-country move I got a text from my sister telling me about a Simeon Trust Women’s Workshop, which just so happened to be scheduled at Heritage. I wasn’t familiar with Simeon Trust but as I looked into it I was eager to participate and attended the workshop at Heritage that fall. I was so encouraged and excited by what I learned and felt better equipped to study God’s Word.

I also began participating in our women’s Bible study in the fall of 2021. My first opportunity to lead a small group was for the women’s Bible study last fall in 1 & 2 Thessalonians. This spring, I again led a small group for the Psalms study and have had the opportunity to teach two of the large group sessions. If you had told me 10 years ago this was where God was going to lead me, I would never have believed you, but by his grace alone he has equipped and grown me in ways I never thought possible.

The heart of our organized women’s ministry is our women’s Bible study. For those less familiar with our plans and purposes, why is this central for us and how does it work?

One thing that drew our family to Heritage was the central focus on the Word in all aspects of ministry. This is the case for Women’s Ministry and specifically in the women’s Bible study where we endeavor to equip women to know, love, and live out the Word. The Women’s Ministry hosts an annual banquet each year around Christmas, a retreat for women every two years, and a handful of smaller gatherings for our women. But the heart, as you said, is the Bible study, which informs all of our interactions in those other venues.

This question is focused on the shape of our Bible study. But I should say first that the women’s Bible study is not intended to be the primary source of Biblical teaching for the women of Heritage. The primary point of instruction for all of our members is the Lord’s Day gathering. The women’s Bible study is supplemental, bringing women together of all ages for all kinds of guided and healthy interactions around the Word—interactions we pray that will shape our roles in the home and the church as disciples of our Lord.

Our women’s Bible study is a Bible study. We provide content that is accessible to women at all stages of their spiritual walk. Typically, we alternate between material written by gifted women in our own body and material we adopt or adapt, sometimes including video teaching.

There are two studies each year—winter/spring and fall and they typically last anywhere from 6–10 weeks. We accommodate schedules and offer a morning and evening session for each study. This pattern and pace is just right. I personally appreciate the spacing and time allotted as life is so busy and the commitment is not overwhelming as a participant or as a teacher. I am often surprised at how quickly the study passes which leaves me looking forward to the next one.

The studies follow a 3-part structure:

• First, personal study during the week of the given text using a provided workbook.
• Second, a small group discussion time led by a leader who facilitates the discussion.
• Third, a large group teaching time.

The small group discussion is such a sweet and importnat time. There’s a reason why we come together to study, not only to be taught but to help one another grow in the Word. This time allows women to ask questions or share what God has revealed in his Word. The small group leaders are to be spiritually mature women within the membership of Heritage who are willing to be equipped to lead. The small group leaders are selected from women who are participants of the study and have a love for God’s Word. These leaders love our ladies and one another. They also invest thier time sacrificially, meeting each Sunday afternoon throughout the Bible study terms with the teachers to discuss the upcoming text and to pray for the ladies.

In addition to small group meetings, our weekly Bible study includes a large group time of formal instruction in the Word. This teaching is from a woman teacher within the membership of Heritage or through a video series. This time is for the purpose of expositing the text for further explanation and personal application. The women who teach must first attend a Simeon Trust Women’s Workshop or take the Simeon Trust online First Principles Class. These women share a desire to grow in their ability to teach the Word of God to help other women move toward Christlikeness.

Some churches have a running women’s Bible study without interruption. We have a few reasons for the pace and pattern of our study. One of those reasons, as you have indicated, is to see that leaders and material are adaquately prepared and supported. Tell us more about that. 

As far as the teaching, we are always making plans for future studies, even years in advance. We select content in advance and all of this is overseen by our elders. For example, our current study through the Psalms has been in preparation for the better part of the last year so that several of us can teach with confidence in the text and confidence as teachers.

One way we serve our women is by making sure that our teachers and small group leaders are encouraged and supported. One of my responsibilities is to shepherd what we call our teaching guild, a small group of ladies that meet to plan and encourage one another in their Word work.

In addition, small group leaders and teachers meet weekly on Sunday afternoons during the weeks when our Bible study meets. This Sunday discussion time helps in our understanding of the passage and to identify anything that has the potential to be confusing.

I have been greatly blessed by the humble hearts of the ladies who participate as small group leaders. We do not always lead perfectly, but there is a great desire to grow and improve as we lead these discussions and promote a response to God’s Word through prayer, repentance, obedience, and sharing. This weekly meeting also ensures that we know and care for one another as leaders, that none of us are without the support we need. I’m convinced that one reason our Bible study small group conversations are so healthy is because of this weekly Sunday afternoon meeting among our leaders.

What excites you most about this role?

I can’t pick one thing. How about two? I am excited to lead in a role like this in a church where our elders pray for, guide, and support our women. They do this for the whole church and they do this for our women through this ministry. In some churches, the women’s ministry can take on a life and a mind of its own. But that is not the case here. Throughout this process it was clear to me that our elders are thoughtfully tending to the flock and this part of the minsitry.

I am also overwhelmed by the gifting that God has provided our church in such godly women. We have so many women with a deep knowledge of God and his Word, the ability to teach other women, as well as the desire to excel in hospitality and encouragement. We don’t have some women who are passionate about relationships and others about the Bible. We have women with a variety of gifts coming together around the Word in order to disciple one another and serve their church.

I am humbled to be a part of this group of women and it is my desire to encourage those already refining these gifts and to see growth in those who never imagined God would give them to such things.

Thank you for loving our women and for ministering the Word, Sarah! One final question: how can we pray for you and our women?

Please pray that God would equip and strengthen me for this work and that I would honor and glorify him in all I do and say. Pray that the women of this body would desire to know God and his Word better and that we would grow in our love for him and for one another, in showing hospitality, and in bearing one another’s burdens in Christ’s name.

Pray for the women involved in leading. It is my prayer for God to grow our small group Bible study leaders in their ability and confidence to lead discussions around the Word. I want to see women of all generations and backgrounds ministering to one another in these ways and these women are stirring up their sisters with their example.

Also pray that the fruit of this ministry would extend into our families and beyond as we seek to share Christ with our friends and neighbors.

Discipleship is all the rage. Commercials, sports commentary, and social media feeds teach us the story of the world, what we should believe, and how we should live.

Sometimes I’ll hear this comment: with all of the indoctrination we and our children receive through the week, what can a one hour sermon do? I’ve thought that. Maybe you’ve said it yourself. Here’s some good news. First, that one hour sermon is more powerful than all of the rest of the hours in a week combined if the Spirit uses it. Second, that one hour informs how we go about all of the other hours in a week. But, third, it’s not the only hour in which Word ministry takes place among us.

This post is about that third point. Our elders have designed a new role for our pastoral staff team, “Director of Discipleship and Theological Development.” I want to tell you about that. But first, let’s talk about discipleship—deep discipleship—in the local church.

What Do We Mean by Deep Discipleship?

Given our many new challenges as disciples of Jesus, we may think that we need equally modern answers. What the church needs, however, are the same old things Jesus had in mind when he said, “make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you” (Matt. 28:19, 20). In slightly different terms: preaching for conversion, church membership, and ongoing discipleship.

What does this ongoing discipleship involve?

If we want to know what Jesus imagined for the church’s discipleship, we need only to look at how the Apostles went about obeying and stirring the church to obedience to Jesus’ command. Even better, we should listen to how the Apostles specifically instructed pastors to lead and order churches to that end. What did they emphasize? How did they instruct churches to go about this work?

Discipleship has as specific content:

• Deep storytelling. “Great indeed,” Paul wrote to Timothy, a pastor in training, “is the mystery of godliness: He was manifested in the flesh, vindicated by the Spirit, seen by angels, proclaimed among the nations, believed on in the world, taken up in glory” (1Tim. 3:16) This was a poem known and recited by the first Christians, perhaps even in church. It’s the story of Jesus, the central character in the story of the universe. It’s the true story of everything and it is the beginning and end of our story. Discipleship involves knowing the Scriptures. To know the Scriptures is to know this story.
• Deep truth. The church is “the church of the living God, a pillar and buttress of the truth” (1Tim. 3:15). The church is a people that confesses truth about Christ, that defends truth concerning Christ for her own sake and for the sake of her witness. “Now the Spirit expressly says,” Paul wrote, “that in later times some will depart from the faith by devoting themselves to deceitful spirits and teachings of demons, through the insincerity of liars whose consciences are seared (1Tim. 4:1, 2). We are easily deceived. But we will not be deceived if we give ourselves to teaching and to confessing the “trustworthy word,” to “sound doctrine,” and to “sound words.” (Tit. 1:9; 2:1; 1Tim. 4:7).
• Deep transformation. The story of Scripture and the truth of Christ are formative. “I hope to come to you soon, but I am writing these things to you so that, if I delay, you may know how one ought to behave in the household of God, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and buttress of the truth” (1Tim. 3:14, 15). The truth of God is unmoving but that doesn’t mean we are. We are formed and moved and commissioned by this truth. We behave differently because we are different. We are the “pillar and buttress of truth” in this world, the way the world sees God and his salvation. Truth is for life, doctrine is for devotion, and the Word is for our worship and our witness.

This kind of deep discipleship has a specific context:

• All of God’s people in all sorts of ways. Who is involved in this work of discipleship? Jesus’ great commission was for the whole church. Nevertheless, there are different roles for us to play. The Lord Jesus gave “shepherds and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry.” Pastors and teachers devote themselves “to the public reading of Scripture, to exhortation, to teaching” (1Tim. 4:13). This is the role of qualified men, leaders of God’s household as they are of thier own (1Tim. 3:1–7, 15). But that’s not where the Word ministry ends. Equiped by her pastors to stand up under doctrinal winds, members teach one another, “speaking the truth in love” until the body “builds itself up in love” (Eph. 4:14–16). Sometimes that means encouraging and helping; at other times that means warning and correcting; at all times this means patience (1Thes. 5:14). Whatever the need of the moment, members pick up where the pastors leave off by pressing God’s truth into the details of their own lives: “consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near” (Heb. 10:24, 25).
• Every day and especially the Lord’s Day. When does this happen? Clearly, there’s formal teaching in the New Testament in settings where the church is gathered on the Lord’s Day. In Acts 20 we read an account of Paul teaching for so many hours that one man fell into a deep sleep and fell out a window and died. Paul resurrected him, thankfully. There is a need for gathering together and being taught, for the church needs teaching and there is much to teach (Acts 20:27). But all of this teaching gives way to informal and unplanned interactions in which we seek one another’s spiritual good: hospitality in our homes, conversations over coffee or in the hallway after church, one-to-one Bible studies, text threads between moms. All of this is Jesus’ plan for our growth as his disciples.

At Heritage we go about this with a church calendar that is meaningful (with plans that are purposeful, intergenerational, and thoughtfully placed and paced), minimal (so you have time to be good parents, neighbors, workers, and—importantly—good church members during the week), and with a view to multiplication (of disciples and leaders of every kind).

How does this look practically?

In the first place, it looks like a habit of gathering together on the The Lord’s Day for planned and purposeful interactions around the Word. We place the greatest emphasis on the Lord’s Day gathering where we give ourselves to the ordinary means of grace—reading, preaching, praying, and singing the Word to and with one another. We follow that gathering up with a variety of planned interactions in a variety of settings: meeting in one another’s homes twice a month, meeting once a month to pray for an hour, meeting every eight weeks in Family Meetings to partner in membership and mission. Informing and feeding all of this, we meet most Sundays for classes with planned breaks to teach and be taught the story of Scripture, the truth of Christ, and to consider how these form and transform our lives.

Second, it looks like spreading out to our various parts of the community for less-planned but no less purposeful interactions with the Word. For an encouraging shot in the arm mid-week, some of our men and women will gather for organized Bible studies for modest stretches at a time up at the church. But otherwise we’re on our own to minister one to another, to be present with our spouses and children, to be known and available in our neigborhoods, and to be faithful in our vocations. The days between Sundays are the days for our many custom-taiored expressions of love and good works. 

That’s discipleship at Heritage. Now, about that role. 

Framing Up a New Pastoral Role

Recently we sent out  dear brother and pastor with his family to preach in a lead preaching role in North Carolina. Abe Stratton has filled several pastoral roles on our team for some fourteen years, most recently in the role we called, Pastor for Member Growth.

We are entering the process of a search for a pastor for this role on our staff pastoral team. But this role will have both a different name and a slightly different focus. First, the name. We found over the years that the name for this role needed regular explanation. I would often say, “Abe oversees all of our adult discipleship ministries.” And that was fair. With fourteen years of relationship and leadership depth, Abe’s role involved oversight of the following: Membership, Shepherding Groups, Electives, Men’s and Women’s Ministry, Sunday Host Ministry, and Local Outreach. He stewarded all of this so very well.

Whenever we have a change on our staff team like this, our elders don’t necessarily look for a one-to-one replacement but consider how the development of our philosophy and the needs of the church might inform the shape of a slightly different role. What does our church need in this role?

In this case, our elders came to a few conclusions. First, one man should not oversee all of these areas. It made sense for Abe given his history and relationships, but even Abe would say he was spread too thin. Secondly, one man should not oversee both Shepherding Groups and Electives. The best man for either one of these is probably not the best man for both at the same time. Both because of the time investment they require, but also the skillsets. So, we decided that this new role would focus on deepening and developing our Elective class ministry both with the development of a scope and sequence for our church and the material for these classes. Importantly, we want him to be a developer of teachers and of others who would write classes. This is the kind of man who might flourish in academia but who desires to teach and equip teachers in the local church. This is a man that understands that the church’s everyday discipleship interactions feed on and flow from the quality of the church’s more prepared teaching. By investing up-stream in our Elective Classes we will nourish and support the whole of the body. 

Imagine in a few years that we might have three tracks of classes: Bible and theology, Church life, and the Christian life and mission. Imagine several levels within each track and teachers trained and scheduled as far as a year or two out for deeper planning and richer teaching. Imagine a Saturday lecture series on Christian ethics, marriage and parenting, or evangelism. Imagine an annual theology conference with guests to speak, friends of our church from around the country. We’re just imagining here. But this is what this role, focused on the church’s teaching and teachers, would devote himself to with creativity, energy, and depth. In the mix, he would be the pastoral point for oversight of our men’s and women’s ministries, each anchored with a Bible study ministry.

We do not believe he can or should devote himself to this vision while also overseeing our Shepherding Groups. Our Shepherding Group structure and leaders will need their own devoted pastoral oversight. For now, Jason Read will oversee that structure, a reasonable temporary assignment given our committed leaders and congregation. In fact, all of Abe’s former areas have either new permanent or temporary assignments (Pray for us!).

However, there is another assignment that we believe pairs well with this role.

Going Broader by Training Pastors

Our church’s mission is “to spread the unsearchable riches of Christ broader in the world and deeper in the church.” This spreading vision commits us to going and sending for the church among the nations, but not just among the nations.

For many years our church has raised up, developed, and sent out pastors and preachers. We’ve done this with full-time and part-time pastoral internships. Timothy Martin is right now our full-time pastoral resident. We gather aspiring preachers monthly in the Preaching Cohort to work on their preaching craft. We host an annual Greenville Preaching Workshop for preachers and aspiring preachers in our area.

Recently our elders agreed together around a more structured vision for training pastors, to bring more coherence and energy to these plans. Here are our goals in three levels:

• to help aspiring pastors discern their fittedness for pastoring through part-time and full-time internships.
• to develop those committed to pastoring through a full-time pastoral residency and multi-year pastoral assistants.
• and to deploy these men by sending them out or in some cases hiring them for our own staff.

We’re still working out how all of this will work, but one encouragement is in order. Our elders’ focus on pastor training is not a labor that takes our attention away from you or our shared evangelistic mission. Rather, it multiplies both. For, these men would be meaningfully deployed for your encouragement and instruction, your friendship and partnership. Then, what a joy it is to send them out, as we did with Brad Baugham so many years ago, who preaches now at Emmanuel Bible Church, an outpost of gospel ministry born out of our church. Or consider that both Jason and I were Pastoral Assistants many years ago at other churches where our roles matured into staff pastor assignments, which in turn prepared us to serve you today. If other churches are incubating pastors that may serve us, then let’s incubate pastors that can serve other churches.

Let’s Pray and Plant, Water and Wait

That’s the vision for this role, a vision that flows from and to our calling as disciple-makers and disciplers. Now, lets pray for the Lord to bless these plans for deeper discipleship and a deeper church.

Let’s do so in the spirit of the Apostle Paul’s own Apastolic ministry: “I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth” (1Cor. 3:6).

• Pray for the Lord to send us a capable teacher and preacher.
• Pray for the Lord to send us an equipper of teachers and preachers.
• Pray for the Lord to send us a man who will love our church and the work we’re about.

To read more about this role, visit our Job Searches page for a role profile and a profile of our church. If you have someone in mind, you are welcome to point them to this page and to the application. You’ll notice that we call it a “director” role. We typically do that for all of our staff-pastor roles, with some exceptions. This role, though, is intended to mature into a staff elder/pastor role in due time. For that reason, we are looking for a man who not only has a skillset and strengths that fit the assignment, but who meets the biblical qualifications for elder.